The Morning After

Have you ever woken up in a morning, opened your eyes and you don’t have a slight idea of where the heavenly hell you are? And no, you are neither bound, nor gagged, but are in a nice cozy bedding. Escalating the situation, you feel some strange warmth radiating from your sides… You brain roams with a series of queries such as: should I turn and look? Or I shouldn’t? Oh you little sneaky bastard, how dare you? Am pretty sure it was worth it, and besides, if it wasn’t, it will make a great bar story.

It is not unusual, for a someone, once in a while to have a break, and have a time of their life. This tends to be done in a wrong way, as many initiate their break, by drowning themselves in large amounts of intoxicating substances. Thanks be to a fact that I am weird, awkward, and most importantly strange as hell. I do not need to be intoxicated, to have a great time. I find it very interesting when a morning after, friends and strangers I had a blazing night with, ask I if I remember anything from last night? Oh sweetie, I am pretty sure I remember it all, since I was not intoxicated as expected, and besides, how the hell could I tell, if truly I was intoxicated?

Many may claim that a good terrible hangover in the morning is a good indicator of having been intoxicated a night before. Hash tag that, I am a way huge fun of sipping spirits, which are rarely associated with terrible hangovers. However, sipping and enjoying spirits tends to be associated with blacking out. Any who, there you are, a perfectly accepted excuse and defense of being intoxicated, which can also be used in courts of law. Unfortunately, the intoxicated excuse or defense, does not erase resulting awkwardness which arises, when you open your eyes in a strange environment, and have no bloody idea, who or what, in the devilry heavens is lying next to you. And yes, I just typed what, as accepted sexual norms of society are diverse.

Unfortunately, the way many individuals handle such awkwardness on a morning after in strange places, is usually catastrophic and super offensive. These individuals usually spring out of bed with a series of loud questions such as: where the fuck am I? Who in the fucked up hell are you? Or supposed to be? How in the bloody heavens did I get here? And the stupid list goes on and on. It becomes double or multiple trouble, when other party or parties involved, wake up with similar allegations.

Although there may be no next time since life isn’t a rehearsal, but in case it does, or happen to you if never witnessed, take a fucken deep breath and calm down. Keep polite, maintaining your cool. Tossing in a cool smile to the other, or others around, is a deal maker. Avoiding interrogating questions such as those above, deescalates surrounding awkwardness. Asking the other individual(s) how their morning is(are), is a bonus, after all, there is nothing to still lose. Initiating a nice conversation as you search for your shit, stabilizes the atmosphere. You may end up wanting to see the other individual(s) again, thereby turning the morning after awkwardness, into an opportunity.

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